You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
