Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
