Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
