Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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