The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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