All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
