Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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