Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet

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(847): View more from Illinois

so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.

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(585): View more from New York

I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.

(1-585): View more from New York

You are so irish.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Apparently you can coat check a keg.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(937): View more from Ohio

I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.

(419): View more from Ohio

....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.

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(845): View more from New York

I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'

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(209): View more from California

Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.

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(207): View more from Maine

He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.

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