So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
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Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
