Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.