I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
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I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
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we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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