Its about making memories worth repressing
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
