I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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