Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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