HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
