even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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