So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize