found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
