Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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