The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
