Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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