that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
