in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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