New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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