maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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