Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
