The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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