I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
