i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
