just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
