I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
dude. I can hear the air.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
