p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No subtext here. People are naked.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
