he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
