The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
