I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
