i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
