i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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