I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
