I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize