oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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