Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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