OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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