trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
