I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME