Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
