It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
you never un-have a 4some
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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