You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
4 words: hood of his car
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
