my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast