marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
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that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
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He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.