DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
