i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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