I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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