No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
