And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
