if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
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I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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