Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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