Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize