I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Randomize
