I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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