Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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