i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
