Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
