Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
