he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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