I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
