"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There r osticjed everywhere
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
