whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
